So I'm sitting here and it just turned 4AM...  I've been up since 10AM, so only 18 hours that I've been up, but I just cant seem to fall asleep...  I went to bed around 1 and I've just been tossing and turning for 3 hours...  Stuff's going through my mind and I cant get it to stop...  The Fall Fling, the dance that goes with the fall festival weekend that the township holds is October 13th.  I am more or less obligated to go since I'm on the fall festival committee.  I dont have a date and I cant find anyone who wants to go to this thing so I can attempt to fill a table...  I asked coworkers, I asked friends, I asked relatives....nobody wants to go...  Fortunately it's being held at Winding Brook so I can stand at the bar and drink the entire time I'm there....

::sigh::  ....thats not true, I lie...  I've only asked 4 people...  John said no, he has a hockey game teh next morning and its an hour drive to and from Shippensburg...  Amanda didnt say no, but I could tell she doesnt want to go from the hemming and hawing she did when I asked her...we're supposedly friends but she'd rather go to clubs in Philly with cashiers she despises than hang out with me, but that's a gripe for another time...  I asked Brett...he said to get back to him when I find other people who are going...  and finally, I asked Kim...she sort of laughed when I asked her and said she didnt know what her plans are, so I'm going to count her out...  She went with me last year and it cost me dinner for how bad of a time it was...  ....I told Sonia too, she just flat out said no because it sounds boring...  My response to that was what do you want it to be, its more of a political schmoozing event than anything else...

.....I want to ask the one cashier, Kaitlin, but I'm not sure how that'll go over.  She's cute, but not cute that theres much likelyhood she has a boyfriend cute...  We've exchanged pleasantries and had brief conversations when I walked her up to the front from the cash office, and from the front to the cash office to count down...nothing too major, just a "how's school going" and talking a little about her classes...  I know I'd be kind of freaked out if someone I dont really talk to and dont know at all came up to me and said "Hey, there's this dance and I need someone to go with...I'll buy your ticket if you just go with me...there's a chance you might even have a good time...there's going to be free food and stuff, all you have to do is come along.... I'll even owe you a favor in the future."  ....yeah....not exactly the best laid plan...

.....I guess worst comes to worst, I ask the fat girl from New Jersey...and no, I dont mean you Stef...  although if you want to go to the Fling with me, you're more than welcome to........As long as Steve doesnt find out because he'll hurt me for asking his fiance on a date.... 

....so my plans for any hope at a future just flew out the freaking window....

I was planning on going back to college in the spring...had it all planned out...talked to my advisor...got figures from the bursars office....it was going to work out....  If I didnt buy any non essentials and paid the minimums on my bills, I was going to be back in the saddle college-wise....  With dipshit getting laid off, and I say dipshit because I guarantee you it was his fault that they fired his ass, I have no future....  College wont be happening again anytime soon...neither will paying off my credit cards or moving out.....I'm stuck....

They decided that since the minimum payments for all of my bills only amount to around $400 and I make a little more than a grand a month, that they can sock me for about $600 to rent my bedroom from them, knowing full well that I'd be paying much more than that to move out....they've got me by the freaking balls and it hurts so bad....

Well.....as we all know, good things dont last....  And it was about time for something bad to happen and it did....  I'm one of those people who if it wasnt for bad luck, wouldnt have luck at all....

Anyway, my dad got laid off again, and wont be finding another job...  I was told I'm going to be charged rent for my bedroom, so I'm guessing they're going to look to milk $500 a month minimum from me at which time I'll say screw you and move out because I can pay that for a whole apartment, not just an 8x9 bedroom....

I'll probably just say screw you anyway, since I only see it maybe being a month before they cant pay their bills and the house gets reposessed by the bank because they remortgaged last time he got laid off...

So yeah....another day in my life....that screws everything up...I wont be going back to college in the spring now...  Way to go dad...freaking asshole....